Utterly benumbed by post-univ life while alarmingly spoiled by Singapore’s sumptuous Asian fare, QSD found himself idling with no achievement, only burgeoning love handles.

love handles: the layer of fat around the middle of a person’s body.
(Cambridge Dictionary)

Prospering in flesh but not in virtue, QSD concedes the symbiosis of work and Singaporean gastronomy has taken its toll. Thus so, not entirely unprovoked, but ex nihilo, he resolves to start a 12-week weight-loss initiative. The following solemn commitments are henceforth enacted, as from today.

Commitments

1. QSD shall abstain from all sugary indulgences. Chocolates (regardless of origin, office or otherwise), milk tea, bottled beverages (unless under 30 kcal per serving) and snacks are strictly prohibited, with the exception being nuts and seaweed.
2. Fast food is limited to one McDonald’s visit per week, with corn as the only permissible side. Junk food is renounced centum per centum.
3. Carbohydrates, such as rice and noodles, are ideally condemned. Dishes drenched in oil, particularly from a certain country’s cuisine, shall be eschewed. Leniency to this item may be considered during get-together occasions.
4. QSD should avoid delivery orders when possible. In exceptions granted in extremis, only bentos and salad boxes shall pass muster.
5. During office hours, QSD is encouraged to do pick-ups, to earn not just calories, but steps and dollars!

On any date of transgression, QSD shall visit the office pantry as frequently as possible the following workday, and there exercise maximal sociability - greeting, networking and showcasing without reserve - to anyone he encounters. A public penance, of sorts.

QSD’s body figure has deteriorated to the point of utter self- loathing and humiliation. A desperate plan to address his beer belly is of top priority.

With unprecedented resoluteness, QSD solemnly commits to:

• perform HIIT for 15min everyday
• participate in gym’s Cycle class at least two times a week
• prohibit any intake of sugar-contained liquid, except for oat Americano.
• refrain from ordering delivery for himself alone.
• opt for sandwiches, M&S salmon and salads as meals whenever possible

QSD should report his daily status to Party B. Any violation will result in a £10 penalty.

This commitment stays valid until the end of the Michaelmas term.

QSD has observed an increasing amount of chins under the same angle of depression, an epitome of a plunge of his possibility to find a girlfriend. It is therefore urgent to put up a diet plan on agenda.

History has relentlessly proved that plans with obscurity and redundancy are usually arduous to carry out. Accordingly, QSD will do his best to shorten the number of his commitments:

Commitments

• A restriction on coffee to Americano, with an exemption of a cup of latte every day
• A strict prohibition on any intake of fruit tea and milk tea
• A strict prohibition on any personal purchase of chocolate, candies, biscuits and cakes
• A strict prohibition on any non-liquid intake between 11pm and 6am

QSD solemnly affirms that the era of his weight losing has come. His obesity has arrived beyond the line of tolerableness, hence actions must be taken to revert the current situation, especially given the concern of his lack of attractiveness and eo ipso girlfriend.

Commitments

• A strict prohibition on any intake of non-formal dessert
• A strict prohibition on any intake of fruit tea and milk tea
• A strict prohibition on any intake of ice-cream
• A strict prohibition on any intake of chocolate/candies/biscuits/cakes, with an exemption of a pack of Oreo every fortnight
• A strict prohibition on any intake of chips and crisps
• A strict prohibition on KFC
• A strict prohibition on any non-liquid intake between 10pm and 6am
• A restriction on Kebab to salad
• A restriction on coffee to Americano, with an exemption of a cup of latte every week
• A restriction on soft drink to diet coke
• A restriction on McDonald’s to £5 per purchase
• A restriction on Burger King to one burger per purchase
• A restriction of amount on Tesco’s Mango Pack to three per day